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Carney Reflects on Everest
November 24, 2003

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Carney crossing the Icefall ladder
Photo by Wally Berg

I've been home in Chamonix for four days and am swamped with bills and over 700 emails - all the regular stuff of life that I had put on hold. Though I left Everest several weeks ago, it is only now that I am able to write about it.

Firstly, the trip was truly amazing and I enjoyed every minute with our team. When you spend over two months on the side of a mountain, the people involved are more critical to maintaining positive spirits than anything else, and I was incredibly fortunate to pass through all the stressful and joyous moments with such good friends. The Sherpas constantly brought smiles to my face and my fellow North Americans offered rich philosophical discussions, compassion and humor.

As those of you know who followed our expedition, I made it to Camp 3 (23,600ft/7,200m) twice but decided it was unsafe to ski Everest this season. When we first arrived in base camp, the skiing conditions were great but the monsoons kept us pinned down low. Then we had to wait out a week of huge avalanches. The window of clear skies and low winds was incredibly short this autumn and by the time our Sherpas had cleared a route through to the South Col, the jet stream was resting on our summit. Painfully, I watched the snow blow off the 5,000ft/1,500m Lhotse face and expose the very old, gray ice of the glacier.

When I was at Camp 3 on October 21st I thought it remained skiable because I could see a route through the ice that still held snow. Unfortunately, the winds were gusting at 60 mph (100k/h) and after a sleepless night we retreated back to base camp in hopes of a break. The winds roared even harder the next day, further stripping my coveted snow, then we had a freak storm that dumped one meter of snow at Camp 2. The winds continued unabated and I knew it was no longer safe for me to ski; the majority of my descent route would have been wind slab snow over ice, essentially a recipe for avalanches.

Three of our original five member team did choose to go back up and reached the South Summit on November 2nd. They were forced to turn back, however, in the face of high winds.

The mountain always has the final say and we each heed her warnings through our own filters. I'm really proud of the formidable achievement of my teammates, and I'm satisfied with my own decision. I trust my assessment of the conditions and am simply but profoundly grateful to be home alive and well.

I've been flooded with messages of support reminding me that this hugely committed attempt to pursue my dream was good enough, but honestly it still hurts inside to have not met with more success. The only section of Everest I skied was between Camps 1 and 2. I am disappointed but I am also walking away feeling proud of my efforts, my enthusiasm and the strength I showed on the mountain. With this experience under my belt, I would ultimately like to go back and pursue the goal until it is accomplished.

Thank you so much for all of your support and encouragement. I couldn't have done as much as I have without your help and your belief in me and my vision.

Maegan Carney